Why I hate the Beetle

Last night I went the Doors Nightclub in Edenvale and drove my friends car there and back as I was on sober driver duty. This sounds like a fine system except… It was a Beetle. A 1974 1600 gold Beetle California. Its horrid.

Why would I suddenly say the worlds best selling single car is rubbish? Well here goes…

The Beetle was invented, as we know, so Hitler could get his workers to and from work to make German weapons. Not a problem, I can overlook the historical implications. But Hitler, who didn’t have a drivers license, had some big ideas for what should be in a car. It should carry 4 people, keep them dry, do 60mph and cost no more then 400 Marks (Or R40 000 odd today). The result was terrifying. The Beetle may be cute and cheap but to keep the costs down, the engineering and build quality are rubbish.

I don’t entirely know where to start on the actual car, so I will start at the beginning; The headlamps. They are dismal. In the early evening, with very little light on the N1 highway, I could barely see 30m in front of me and as for a brights switch, the headlamps come in on or off. Moving up, the car has no storage space in the boot/hood. Yes, there is space for a fuel tank and a spare wheel, but as for bags and useful things to take with, useless. Moving back we find the windscreen. Too small and too close to the driver. Bad idea. The cabin is cramped, the seats are not comfortable and the seatbelts don’t work. Then if you sit in the back seat, the roof bumps you on the head and the engine heats your butt. Then the engine itself… It has no power, is in the wrong place, sounds noisier than a jumbo jet and is in the wrong place. The gearbox has too few speeds, and changing gear is like stirring coal. YOu never know exactly what gear you are going to get next. The shift from 2nd to 3rd might suddenly produce reverse. The gearbox is that bad.

The steering wheel also does not appear to be attached to anything. You turn the wheel and nothing. Not even resistance, unless you are standing still in which case it is heavier than Australia.

This car is the worst car I have ever had the displeasure to drive. This particular example is in good condition but driving it makes you hate driving. Nothing works, even by 1960’s standards. So I am sorry, but I hate the Beetle. It is a rubbish car with no appeal at all

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