Impulse Decision

You guys need to know something about me: I loooove animals. Animals are a part of my family and I love each one of them dearly. I’ve had all kinds of animals including dogs, cats, birds, hamsters, turtles, degus, lizards, frogs, etc.

I had a really bad day today.

I’ve been having problems with my cat, Kitty. She’s never actually learned how to use the litter box, so there’s constantly a pile of shit on our floor and more recently, she started pissing on the floor.

She’s not allowed in Hubby’s room (this is the room we spend all our time in because the TV and computers are in there) because she chews up wires. We’ve lost speakers, Hubby’s special sound thingy, camera USB cords, etc. And Hubby doesn’t allow animals in our bedroom (his rule, definitely not mine). Well, Kitty will stand at the door scratching and meowing. Not just a little meow, but she will sit there and wail until I open the door. It’s gotten worse the past week and I’m not sure why because she still hasn’t been allowed in that room.

To make matters worse, after putting her outside, she went and got stuck in a tree. Again. I was out at 3 in the morning climbing a tree because I couldn’t sleep due to being worried about her.

I was sick with a migraine yesterday and couldn’t even throw up in peace because the cat wouldn’t leave me alone. And I need complete silence when I have one of my headaches, but the cat just didn’t seem to grasp this idea at all.

So today… let me go ahead and warn you, my depression is back WITH A VENGEANCE (and for once I actually don’t feel like discussing it, it’s that bad), and something in me snapped. I came home to a big pile of shit, a puddle of piss, and a meowing cat.

So in a stupid impulse decision, Kitty has been taken to the local shelter.

I’m devastated and can’t believe I even did this. Sure. I’ve given rats away, a degu, and my parents have my two old cats, but I gave Kitty up just like that.

And I feel so guilty. I’m sitting here wondering if anyone will adopt her, take care of her, is she’s lonely, if she knows I gave up on her… I just feel like shit, plain and simple. And with my current mood, I can’t handle feeling this way. I’ve cried all day. I never thought I would give up an animal just like that.